Whether you are a student at school or an employee working in the workplace, if you have excellent communication and interpersonal skills, your life will be much more interesting and lucky than the average person.
Warren Buffett attaches great importance to interpersonal communication. He once said:
The reason why people have achieved success is that other people are willing to work with them and unite around them, while others do not want to be with them.
Communication and interpersonal communication will accompany you for a lifetime. If you do not do well in this aspect, you may suffer from it for a lifetime.
This is not alarmist talk. In fact, many successful people, their interpersonal skills are worth learning.
- Are you afraid to communicate with others?
- Do you often quarrel with others or have a cold war?
- Do you brag because you’re afraid others will look down on you?
It doesn’t matter, we have 10 simple methods, learn from them and insist that your life will change greatly.
Try to reduce complaints. Complaining is actually the output of negative energy. The more you complain, the worse your luck will be.
Believe it or not, people like to associate with people who are full of positive energy instead of complaining everyday.
When you complain to your friends for the first time, they will listen to you patiently and comfort you. This is good, but it won’t last long. If you always complain with your friend, he will definitely be impatient and stay away from you.
Why? Positive energy will create happiness and cohesion and help you maintain a better friendship.
Complaining will not help your friendship too much, on the contrary, it will keep your friend away from you-because you have too much negative energy, which will make him share your unhappiness.
Not only in interpersonal communication, according to a study, negativity for 30 minutes or more actually deprives neurons in the hippocampus of the brain.
It is good to complain occasionally. Complaining all the time will make you lose your friends or even your health.
How to do it: Try to learn to appreciate what you have now, and use some methods to relieve bad mood. Anyway, it’s nothing to remember occasional complaints, just don’t be too frequent. If you are not satisfied, try to change!
When you have some needs for your friends, such as borrowing money, you’d better say it straight out.
Many people are used to a simple greeting before chatting, but this is not good, especially when you ask for help.
Facing your greeting, your friend may not be able to answer your question positively.
In addition, these polite expressions may not be necessary in some countries.
If you have a need, you can directly say that your friends will reply to you better.
In this way, your friendship and needs will be separated, and even if you don’t get help from your friends, you can still maintain your friendship.
Is it hard to understand? For example:
If you borrow money from your friends, you should directly offer to borrow money instead of making too many greetings and remembering friendship before that. When you have prepared your feelings and atmosphere, and you have said too many good things, it may be difficult for your friend to refuse you directly, even if he does not have the money to give you.
In short: Don’t use friendship when you need your friend’s help.
How to do it: Put forward your request directly and show that you need help. If you have done too much foreshadowing before this, your friend will be caught in a dilemma.
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Obey and respect leadership in work
The person who can be your leader must be outstanding. Such as resources, experience or contacts. Want to have excellent communication and interpersonal skills? Learning from your leader may be the quickest way
Perhaps you have many unique insights and abilities, or you don’t like some of the leadership’s actions. Trust me, do your own thing well, don’t worry about what you shouldn’t worry about.
Why? Isn’t this a bad practice?
On the contrary, what your leader needs to consider is not the same as what you need to consider. You shouldn’t use your own opinion to ask others to do things.
On the other hand, if you look closely, those middle-level managers often prefer to say good things about their leaders.
Appropriate flattery, one more friend and one less enemy, you will find a lot less trouble, at least the leadership will not be against you.
In addition, it is good to appropriately increase your sense of being and let leaders pay more attention to you.
How to do it: reduce prejudice against leaders, keep your mouth under control, please leaders appropriately, and reduce your troubles.
Reduce unnecessary disputes
There are all kinds of people around you, their age, character and life experience are very different. There are no two people in this world whose values are exactly the same, so naturally, there are often disputes.
In fact, this is not the worst.
What is the worst? Few people can communicate rationally. No one is willing to give in to each other in the dispute, which will seriously damage your interpersonal communication.
If you don’t get the right end of the dispute, your interpersonal relationship will be hurt. Even if you finally make peace, your impression on others will change.
Worst of all, critics will cause a chain reaction, and those who argue with you will spread your image in their minds. Gradually, your impression of others will deteriorate-even if you haven’t done anything.
Don’t worry, if you keep calm in the quarrel, others will not only despise you, but also praise and respect you.
How to do it: before you want to argue, remind yourself to take a deep breath and think about it for several tens of seconds: is it necessary? What kind of harm will it do to me?
Recognize yourself and don’t brag
In most cases, especially those who have just entered the workplace, they will boast of their inferiority.
If you don’t have good communication skills and interpersonal skills, you can do nothing. Believe me, those who are silent will not be despised.
Why don’t you brag? Because it will damage your personal image and make others think you are a respectable person.
You should encourage yourself to recognize yourself and live in reality. Don’t try to exaggerate yourself by boasting.
People prefer honest people.
In fact, if you tell a lie, you often need more lies to cover up the first lie.
If you want to get better and be praised, it is more important how to do it than how to think about it.
Blind self-hypnosis is not good. It will make you indulge in illusory beauty, widen the distance between reality and dream, and make you feel inferior.
How to do it: Take a day to recognize yourself carefully, don’t brag and exaggerate yourself, and then work hard with your feet on the ground to complete your small goals. That will make you better.
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Not so many people pay attention to you
More people value the results than the process. When you feel that countless people are paying attention to you, it is not.
Do you blush because you fell while walking? Strange, isn’t it? What you should feel most is pain, but you put more attention on “losing face”.
Even, because you care too much about what other people think of you, you will be unhappy all day or angry with those close to you. In the end, you will spend the day in chagrin and regret.
Why? Those who saw you wrestling will soon be busy with their own affairs. They don’t remember your appearance or even forget it very quickly.
No matter what it is, you should not attach too much importance to the opinions of others.
In fact, there are not so many people paying attention to you, but you think you are the focus, so you are very careful in everything you do, and you are very tired living.
There is a phenomenon you have to admit: those suffering from mental illness, they always amuse themselves, but they are much happier than you.
How to do it: You should relax yourself and don’t care too much about other people’s opinions. You live for yourself and not for others. You don’t have many viewers either.
Control your temper
When you are angry, the victims are not those who make you angry, but yourself and those closest to you.
At ordinary times, control your emotions, and no one will pay for your emotions.
Whether in the workplace or daily life, you need to control your temper, which is also a kind of interpersonal skills.
A very capable person in China once said that there are three kinds of people in this world:
- People with temper and ability;
- People with temper but no ability;
- A person with ability but no temper.
So, what kind of person do you want to be?
In fact, most tantrums will only lead to worse results.
But you also need to lose your temper when necessary. When some people bully you intentionally, you need to show your strength and show your bottom line.
How to do it: Don’t lose your temper in most cases, but when necessary, show your bottom line and prevent yourself from being bullied.
Recognize compliments from others
When you are praised, you should be happy, but you should think about why others say so.
Is it because you really have this ability? Or is it because others want you?
If you repay others unreservedly for a few words of praise, it is a bad performance, because you do not recognize yourself.
In addition, you also need to stay away from those who will always praise you. Sometimes, those true friends will dare to point out your mistakes.
How to do it: as mentioned earlier, recognize yourself.
Don’t be too anxious to thank and repay
Know how to repay kindness, but don’t rush to repay it. Those who are too eager to repay kindness are often those who don’t want to owe you any favors.
Because he wants to get rid of your relationship as soon as possible, in fact, a little “grace” can keep your relationship for a long time.
Remember not to tell everyone who owes you what, which is especially bad.
How to do it: don’t pursue the balance between you and your friends too much, and don’t forget others’ kindness to you.
Don’t always teach others
People don’t know anything and don’t take the initiative to ask you, don’t take the initiative to teach others, because you teach others, you need to take responsibility.
Many people like to teach others their knowledge, which is not bad, but you need to restrain yourself, which is not always good:
- Are you ready to face repeated questions?
- What if others knew all you taught long ago?
- You can’t have no reservations, especially in the workplace.
- Do people think you are arrogant?
If you are going to teach others something about yourself, you’d better think about the above questions first.
How to do it: If others don’t ask you questions, you’d better think twice before you act. It’s not always good to teach others.
Establish excellent communication and interpersonal skills
Excellent communication and interpersonal skills are good qualities that will accompany you throughout your life.
Sometimes, a word or an action will help you set up a good image and help you have more friends.
Adhere to the above 10 methods, and then have a better life!